“You’re two years behind me” – this was the statement made to me last week while speaking to an old friend I don’t keep in touch with much these days.
The context was that she was explaining that she had progressed further along the road to recovery from the influence of growing up associated with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
While it’s true that she left the Witnesses many years ago and me only coming up to almost 3 years now, I totally beg to differ.
Why do I believe this not to be the case? She clings to the concept of a loving family in family members who would disown and berate her for not living the lifestyle they themselves maintain yet she gave up. When they (mother and brother) come to visit, she’ll even hide her boyfriend, coming up with a story for them so that they don’t find out she’s having premarital sex. I’m glad she’s starting to question the validity of their affection over the years since they’ve never accepted her as she was but even that highlights that she still cares about what these people think. She shouldn’t.
I think if you can’t be yourself, and be happy in your skin around particular people, in the knowledge that they won’t judge you, whether they are family or not, you need to cut those people from your life.
I’m happy in my skin. I wouldn’t hesitate to successfully confront those blind, misled people who used to call themselves my friends but didn’t hesitate to stop contacting me once I stopped going to church. Almost three years ago I stopped and without even explaining it to them… Are they true friends if you can disappear for three years or more and they don’t attempt contact? Of course not. They are strangers, always were. Unlike my friend, I’m glad they have no influence on me anymore.
I believe religion to be the most destructive influence on my life to date. My only regret is not getting away from it sooner. I have no intention of ever letting it have an influence on my life ever again. Before I broke away, I was associated with them in Canberra for 10 years. Breaking away meant giving up all my friendships at the time. It was difficult but it was the right thing to do. I was extremely unhappy prior to leaving, I was suicidal. No person, organization or religion will ever have that control over me again.
I’m sorry to my friend but I’m not two years behind, I’m many years ahead in this respect.