So, here I am at 5:15am finally giving up.
This degree, this year, is really getting to me, I’m so angry, disappointed, annoyed and upset right now. I have to type this to get it out of my system so I can calm down and get some sleep.
Why so annoyed?
I spent the entire day on Monday building a rig, from 10am out at Bunnings to 2am the following morning finally happy with the result… A lot of cutting, tweaking, building… let alone the hours of research into DIY sliding camera rigs.
I then spend the following day (yesterday now), after theory in the morning, obtaining and preparing the subject to be shot, fruit, assuming my Wii would also be re-shot.
Now, after nine hours of setting up the rig, modifying it, trying other solutions… if it wasn’t the weight issue, it was lighting, if not position, or lens, let alone that the way is slid along the track was f**king ridiculous.
My primary frustration, I think, is due to the f**ing 5D. Essentially, I have all this process and build-up with no room for error… as soon as one thing goes wrong in the shoot the whole thing is up to s**t. This means that I waste so much time trying to fix things and end up with nothing useful.
I’m soooo over how hard everything is. What the hell happened to this being enjoyable?
And all of that was just for my complimentary, not my major… I didn’t have time to re-shoot that! Let alone that my theory essay isn’t writing itself while I stay up until all hours doing what essentially amounts to nothing. The worst part is that I still need to make a working rig and wait yet another week to get the 5D again just so I can fail another time. So, what do I have to show? A useless rig, useless footage and another week closer to failure.
Let alone that everything I do is given so much soul destroying criticism and feedback that combined with such failures as tonight, I’m not left with much confidence at all. I hate this semester.